29 Weeks

I'm still pregnant!!!  I've survived three and a half weeks of bed rest and hospital stays!

At my appointment on Friday, some new problems cropped up and I was sent over to the hospital again.  Are you guys as sick of reading about my hospital stays as I am of writing about them?  I was super bummed because Saturday was supposed to be my baby shower and was also my birthday.  I ended up in the hospital until Sunday afternoon.  I had my blood drawn five times this week.  Five!  When I first got to the hospital, I was pretty upset already and then being faced with having my blood drawn made me so light headed that my blood wouldn't come out!  They had to let me calm down and drink juice for a bit and then try again.  For my birthday on Saturday, my family and two of my cousins came to the hospital to party with me.  My mom bought the biggest pizza I have ever seen!  I think I heard it was 36".  When someone spilled the beans on it being my birthday, my sweet nurse and nurse's aide bought me a birthday cake.  Blake spoiled me and bought me a whole cake from Cheesecake Factory, but it was at the house, so we ate the nurse's cake that day.  I can't say it was my favorite birthday ever, especially since I was awoken at 6:30 am to get my blood drawn, but I'm grateful to everyone who tried to make it a good one.

I had a non-stress test today and everything is looking stable.  I am told that we are walking a tightrope right now.  If things stay as they are, we could be good for a while.  If it gets any worse, we will probably be having the babies right away in possibly an emergency type situation.  So, let's hope for things to stay good for quite a while.  The hardest thing to do is to keep myself from feeling despair and telling myself that it will all be fine in the end. I am grateful for every extra day we get to keep the babies in there.

I want to mention that I really hope my updates aren't scaring any of you who haven't had babies yet.  Everything that is happening to me is rare, especially if you're only having one baby, and having twins is rare too.  You guys are going to have much better pregnancies, I can almost guarantee it.  :)

28 Weeks

Not big enough to be done being pregnant yet

We did it!  28 weeks is the absolute bare minimum my doctor wanted me to reach, and we made it!  Of course, the longer I stay pregnant the better, but it feels great to make it to the first milestone. 

This past week was pretty eventful.  I met with the perinatologist, and things were looking pretty concerning.  He decided to admit me to the hospital again for three days to stop contractions (most of which I don't feel) and monitor me and assess after that.  The nurses that took care of me were all so awesome, so even though they had to wake me up frequently I forgive them.  I am getting sick of the hospital already, especially hospital food.  I really admire those of you who handled hospital bedrest for weeks or months!  Luckily, at the end of three days they said they saw pretty much no change so they felt comfortable sending me home.  I'm starting to feel like every time I have a doctor appointment I should bring a bag packed for a hospital stay, haha.

Glamour shot

My nurses were so sweet

So, now I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on bedrest for the long haul.  I'm actually doing a pretty good job of keeping myself busy.  I still feel like there are so many decisions I need to make before the babies come.  There are lots of shows on Netflix, and Blake and I started reading a parenting book. I think my idea to start watching Hoarders was a bad one because now I have the urge to clean and organize but I'm not allowed to.  I'm also working on some things for the nursery. I'm starting to feel pretty lonely and sad that I'm missing out on parties and get-togethers, and also guilty about not doing any cooking or cleaning or anything really, but it's all for a very important cause.

It's very strange knowing that the babies could be here anytime between now and 10 weeks from now.  I'm working on staying extra positive though, so I'm picturing my babies being born on Easter.  Wouldn't that be cute?  Easter babies :)

27 Weeks: Hello 3rd Trimester!

I am so happy to be writing another weekly post!  At my appointment a few days ago my doctor said that things appear to be about where they were last week, maybe even a tiny bit better, which is good news.  We just didn't want to see it get any worse.  (Side note, baby B has flipped over and is now head down too.  We'll see how long that lasts.)  He's having me keep up with the bed rest at least until I see the perinatologist this week and see what they say.  My doctor says I've got him worried but he's staying very optimistic and still has hope that we won't see any more changes for a long time.

I want to give a huge thank you to the people who have gone out of their way to bring us dinner or call me so I had someone to talk to or show their support in any way.  I have felt so loved, and am blown away by people's generosity.  Thank you thank you thank you!

So, I've survived my first week and a half on bedrest now.  I don't know how much longer they'll keep me on it, but I just try not to think about it.  I'm scared they'll keep me on it for the next two months but also scared they'll take me off too early and I'll end up having these babies too soon.  The unknowns of the future are ominous and it's best to focus on taking care of myself and the babies right now.  I feel like I am doing a really good job of keeping myself positive, all things considered.  I do my best to visualize staying pregnant until I'm full term and taking the babies home from the hospital with us!  I'm trying to not let myself get bored and to find something productive to do every day so it doesn't feel like I'm wasting all of my time.  I put on real clothes every day because it makes me feel less like I'm sick or something.  I only get up to shower or use the restroom, and keep most of my body horizontal on my side the rest of the time.  My body is sore and I feel like a total lazy bum, but it could definitely be worse!  Poor Blake has to get me all my food and water and try to keep the housework somewhat done.  And he hasn't even complained.  I'm a lucky girl.

I'm so glad these boys are so active.  I love feeling them move and knowing they're okay.  Even when they're doing weird things to my rib cage or my internal organs.  The coolest thing is when I can actually feel their body parts sticking out of my stomach!  The other day there was something like an elbow or knee sticking out, and then this morning I felt something huge.  It must have been a baby butt (or maybe a head if one of them flipped over again) because it was so big.  Blake got to feel it too. :)

It's so exciting to be in the third trimester now!  Every day makes a difference, and every week is a big milestone.  Come on babies, we can do this!  Full term!

26 Weeks: 6 Months

This week has worn on me a bit...

I wish I could say this week was better than last.  I went in for my appointment on Friday and things were looking worse, bad enough that my doctor decided to send me over to the hospital for monitoring and a round of steroid shots to develop the babies' lungs.  I made the poor lady at the front desk of Labor & Delivery cry when I arrived there scared and had a hard time remembering my due date.  We got the first shot done and my first ever IV put in (I am terrified of needles, btw) and spent a few hours on the monitor in triage.  My doctor decided they should keep me over night until my next dose 24 hours after the first one.  So, we got to enjoy a terrible night in a not very good hotel called the postpartum/antepartum ward.  In the morning, we did some more monitoring (the poor nurse stood there for 20 minutes chasing the babies around with the monitors, those boys will not hold still) and it was determined that I could go home after the steroid shot that afternoon, for which I am so grateful.  I will admit that I am missing the ability to tilt my bed with the press of a button though. After we got home from the hospital, my dad came over to help Blake give me a blessing.

So for now, my orders are to take it super, super easy.  Spend most of my time lying down, but being sure to get up enough that I'm not going to get blood clots.  Absolutely no going to the store or anything like that.  No housework.  Keep a close eye on my contractions to make sure they're not getting more frequent and make sure the babies are moving lots.  The babies are only about 2 lbs each right now, which is much too small to be born yet.  They are, however, a good size for how far along we are, considering it's twins and all, so I am glad that all the healthy food I have been eating (and some unhealthy too, I'm not perfect) and weight I've been gaining have been going to a good cause.  My doctor said his initial goal is to get us to 28-30 weeks for starters, so at least until we make it that far we are going the super careful route.  He's hoping to get us a good amount farther than that, but thinks my chances of reaching the full 38 are almost zero.  I'll be in to see him again this week, and hopefully we will see some improvement this time, or at least not any worse.

Laying down a lot is hard.  It wouldn't be so bad except it has unleashed hellfire in my throat, terrible terrible acid reflux/heartburn.  Sometimes it feels like someone shoved a knife down my throat.  I woke up in the middle of the night Saturday choking to death on acid, so I have built myself quite the nest in my bed so I'm not laying down flat, but sleeping that way isn't exactly fun.  Anything I put in my stomach calls up the angry demons and none of the remedies I have tried have worked.  I'll just do my best to eat as slowly as I can and stay as upright as possible while still keeping the babies' weight where it needs to be, because those seem to be the only things that make the slightest difference.

I am so grateful that the babies are developing and growing well.  That is the big bright spot among all of this.  Every movement I feel from them is reassuring.  I am doing my best to stay positive, keep my mind busy with other things, and not worry too much.  (I may not be doing so well at that at the moment.)  I feel like we're doing everything we can, and the rest is in God's hands.  Here's hoping that I will get to write lots more of these weekly updates, 10 more would be fantastic.  Every day they keep cooking makes a difference.  Stay in, babies!

25 Weeks

About two to three pounds of babies in there.  I think I'm in the 'cute belly' stage where it's obvious I'm pregnant but I don't look like I'm going to explode yet.  Haha.

Well, we sure had a crazy week.  We had a bit of a scare that resulted in a consultation with my OB after my anatomy scan (due to the tech seeing something that required his attention), a visit with a perinatologist (aka maternal-fetal medicine specialist or high-risk OB), a late night trip to the hospital, and another visit with my OB.  I guess this is a good reminder that they call twin pregnancies high risk for a reason.  I ended up having a (not fun) test done that, if you get a negative, means that there is almost no chance you will go into labor within the next two weeks, and luckily I did get a negative.  I am feeling so grateful and relieved right now.  My doctor is going to keep closer tabs on me from here on out to make sure we keep those babies in there.  I have three more appointments scheduled for the next three weeks, one with the perinatologist and two with my OB.  But he is optimistic and is very confident that everything will be just fine.  I am so glad we have such a great doctor, someone who is careful and watchful but also doesn't jump to conclusions and start intervening when there may be no real cause for alarm.  My appointment with him on Friday made me feel so much better after having a very stressful and scary few days.  He thinks it's entirely possible that we won't see any more changes until we're close to full term.  So for now we're going to watch and wait.

Having said that, let's go back to the beginning of the week, the big anatomy ultrasound.  This was definitely the coolest one to date.  I finally know approximately where my babies are, and can make a better guess about who I'm feeling (though I could be wrong because they are very close together.)  The ultrasound tech was really fun.  She named baby A 'Aragorn' and baby B 'Boromir' since we haven't really figured out name assignments quite yet.  Baby A has his head way down super low in my belly (hooray for A being head down!), and his legs up by my ribs towards the middle right side of my body.  Baby B's head is near baby A's feet, and he seems to like to put his feet up by his face sometimes and down low in my belly at other times.  The crazy thing is that even though they are in separate sacs, they can still touch each other.  The tech said to think of the layer of sac between them as cellophane.  We watched them kick each other and sometimes they would raise their arms to try to protect themselves.  They are beating up each other already!  Sibling rivalry!  I love the 4-D ultrasound they have because you can see so much better what the babies look like.  They are so adorable and actually look like little babies!  I'm so in awe of them and how cute they are.  And the good news is they are developing super well and have a good amount of fluid and their organs all look normal.  One of them is measuring right on with our due date and one is a few days ahead, just like they were before, which is fantastic.

My favorite picture of the day.  You can see my sweet baby's little nose, mouth, and chin, and his brother's foot kicking him right in the cheek.  I might have my hands full with these two.

You can see the whole head, facing to the left.  He has his mouth open and his hand near his mouth.  The tech said he might have been sucking his thumb right before this.  Awwww

So I guess in summary, I'm feeling very grateful right now. 

24 Weeks

I intended to wear my black maternity maxi dress, but when I put it on, it was so billowy and huge that it made me feel like a cow.  So, back to my non-maternity black maxi dress we go.  I'm thinking that the maternity one will fit me later when I'm bigger???  I'll pull it out in a month or so to re-assess.  Speaking of maternity, I'm mixing in a few pieces, but most of them are still just too big, which is ridiculous because I'm feeling pretty pregnant right now.

Out of curiosity, I decided to find out how to measure my fundal height so I knew how many weeks I'm measuring.  I don't know how accurate I was, but I did it a few times and got a measurement of about 29-31 weeks.  So what that means is that if I had one baby, I'd be this size at about 29-31 weeks instead of 24.  This is right around where I'm supposed to be with twins (about 6-8 weeks ahead), so I was happy to see that.

24 weeks is a big deal because it's known as the week of viability.  What that means is that at this point, if the babies were born they have about a 50% chance of surviving.  Every week from here on out raises their odds by about 10%.  This isn't something that would really be on my radar if I was having a low-risk pregnancy, but with twins it's definitely something to celebrate.  I want to keep these boys cooking as long as possible!

The bad stuff: The pelvic pain is really no fun at all.  Walking is difficult, flipping over in bed is terrible, stairs are hard (we've got lots of those in our house.)  I'm still exercising but some poses/moves I have to skip over entirely because it hurts too bad.  I'm kind of bummed I'm not seeing my doctor again until my 28 week appointment to make sure there's nothing else I can do.  I called in to the nurses and they just told me it's a normal thing and not to worry about it.  I'm struggling to find the balance between being active enough and not hurting myself.  Just going out for a couple hours worth of errands has become enough to leave me in tears at the end of the day from frustration and pain.  I am grateful that this isn't a problem that affects the babies at all though, and let's be honest, there's lots of things that leave me in tears these days.

I'm starting to try to visualize what life will be like with two newborns.  I feel so unprepared and honestly like it might just kill me.  I know it's ridiculous, but facing being a first-time mother of two little ones makes a person feel very inadequate.  I'm trying to think about baby cuddles and the cute little sounds they make instead, and remind myself that ALL I have to do is focus on getting their most basic needs taken care of and NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.  My house will be a disaster and we definitely won't cook anything and I'll never leave the house and I will look and feel terrible, but it DOESN'T MATTER.  Just think about laying around the house, snuggling two little babies.  That sounds nice.

Tomorrow is our big fancy anatomy scan.  They booked me for two slots because there's two babies, so I will be there a long time.  The babies move around so much and kick so hard (hard enough to move my arm or a book if it's resting on my belly), it will be fun to see what they're doing in there and finally know who is where.  I'm grateful the gestational diabetes test isn't until 28 weeks because I am nervous about that.  Can you tell I'm an anxious person? haha

My awesome cousins came over on New Year's Eve to spend the night and celebrate.  I spend lots of time alone and it gets lonely, so having company over was fantastic!  They were happy to just chill around the house since I'm not up for doing much, and they even made dinner and cleaned up all the dishes, all while making sure I was comfortable.  They are so sweet and it meant so much to me.

23 Weeks

Today I'm 23 weeks pregnant!  The fact that I am pregnant has now been noticed by strangers, so I guess that means I'm officially a real pregnant lady.  The belly is starting to get in the way of things like putting on socks and picking stuff up off the floor.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do when it actually is ginormous...

Let's get the icky stuff out of the way.  The pelvic pain is giving me the pregnancy waddle already at times, which some people find hilarious.  Whatever, it hurts to walk, ok?  The indigestion and reflux are still very uncomfortable, and now I can add squished lungs to the squished stomach.  Yay.  I sometimes feel sick and laying down is the only thing that makes it somewhat better.  Plus I'm tired so I want to lay down anyways.  Yes, I know I'm pathetic.

The babies are kicking like crazy!  I always try to figure out what limb I'm feeling, but never can.

Christmas was so great!  I can't believe that next Christmas we will have BABIES!!!  I got lots of cute maternity clothes as gifts and so I decided I had better start breaking out the new wardrobe.  Most of them are still too big though.  My mom picked me out an adorable diaper bag.  She has good taste.  Blake even got his own baby-related Christmas gift from me.  I think he likes it. :)

Another gift I got were a few books about twin pregnancy.  I'm reading the book by Dr. Luke right now, and I'm finding it very interesting.  It wants me to gain A LOT of weight.  I have been unsure if I was gaining too much because I've gained more than most people with one baby at 23 weeks, but this book makes me feel better that my body is doing what it needs to be doing.  And there's the fact that my regular pants still fit.  Side note: What's the deal with all the pregnant ladies telling random blog readers how many pounds they've gained every week?  I don't really understand the draw, but maybe that's just me.  Something really cool I learned from my book is that twins actually develop faster than single babies, so if they were all born at, for example, 30 weeks, the twins would do better than the single baby.  Twins' growth in size also slows down sooner than a single baby's would, which signals to the body that the babies are done cooking and it's time to start labor.  So that's one of the reasons why twins are almost always born early and are considered full term at 37-38 weeks.  I still have lots left to read and learn, and I'm excited!  This book makes me feel like I'm in control and that I'm learning all the secrets to keep my babies as healthy as I can.

22 Weeks

Merry Christmas everybody!  There's something special about being pregnant during the Christmas season and feeling a sort of connection to Mary.  This week was fun because Blake got to feel the babies kick for the first time!  He thought it was so cool.  A few days later my mom felt them too.  She gave them a little nudge and got a big kick in response.  I told my sister to come feel them, but seeing my stomach move by itself was too freaky for her, haha.  I feel them all over the place all throughout the day, especially in the evenings.  Sometimes I am mean and poke them a bit to get a retaliation from them.  It's just the coolest thing!  They're my little buddies that I bring around with me everywhere and they are always reminding me that they're there.  I do wish I could tell which one I'm feeling where. 

My belly button is now officially gone.  It will probably become an outie soon, or as my mom calls it, a turkey timer. 

I have gathered up pillows (and maybe stuffed animals) from all over the house and arrange myself a little pillow fort in our bed every night.  It has really been helping me sleep better, although I still do feel tired most of the time.

Now for the not-fun stuff.  I have the craziest indigestion and reflux, along with still feeling sick to my stomach.  It's not pleasant at all.  And these extra hormones are causing my pelvis to start loosening already.  It is getting pretty painful to walk at times, especially later in the day.  I'm just being extra careful to not overexert myself and make it worse (by avoiding things like putting on pants standing up and moving my leg out to one side...)  I feel like it's way too early for this to be happening.  Oh well. 

I had Blake take round one of my maternity pictures this week!  I have a pretty non-maternity dress that will probably not fit very much longer, and since I was already getting dolled up for the family Christmas Tea Party I figured I might as well take some pictures too.  I know it's early, but it never hurts to take more pictures.

My mom and I found some super cute stuff for the nursery!  We bought adorable fabric and are going to be making everything for their cribs starting sometime after New Year's.  It's a big project, but I have time.  Although sometimes I feel like I have very little time because they might be here in March.  There sure is lots to do and buy and decide on and learn about!

21 Weeks

I'm so pregnant!  There is no denying it now.  Even though I'm not actually big enough for most of my maternity clothes to fit yet, I keep going through the fear cycle of 'how am I going to make it 17 more weeks if I keep growing this fast?'  I did wear a maternity top for the first time on Saturday.  I suspect that soon I will give up my pride and bust out the whole maternity wardrobe.

I think my nausea has been completely replaced now by food upsetting my stomach and/or making it hurt.  Is that the same thing?  I dunno.  It isn't after every meal, and some days are much better than others, but I can still expect to not feel great at some point of every day.  And I'm still very tired.  My doctor says by this point I should probably give up on hoping I'll snap out of the feeling sick thing.  Oh well. 

Speaking of the doctor, in case you missed it, we confirmed last week that we are having two boys!  Let the nursery planning begin!  Blake loves to refer to 'my boys' and say things like 'my boys want meat' (which my family thinks is hilarious.)  The doc also said everything looks fantastic.  I have no signs of labor and they are growing nicely.  I am so grateful that everything has been going so well!

Prenatal exercise is so great!  Yes, it's super hard to make myself do it, but since I've kicked it up to about 4x a week my aching back and hips have felt like 80% better!  It's kind of a miracle.  Now to keep myself motivated...

And now for the best part of this week.  Not only am I feeling the babies move many times a day, but I have actually SEEN them kicking my stomach a few times!  It is the most incredible thing!  A few weeks ago I was feeling sad because I didn't really feel connected with my babies and wondered if I was doomed to be a horrible mother who didn't love her kids.  But as soon as I really started feeling them it was just the most wonderful thing.  I love these silly little babies and every time I feel them move it makes me smile.  I don't know what my boys are doing in there, but it sure seems like they're having fun.  I feel them all the way from way low in my stomach to right by my ribs.  I can't even describe how freaky and amazing it is to watch and feel something punch you from the inside.  It sure makes me feel better about the not-fun parts of pregnancy!

20 Weeks

Sorry about the white on white

Here we are at the big two-oh and I am feeling larger every day!  Before I was pregnant I wondered what it felt like for your stomach to grow.  Well, here's what it's felt like for me so far.  Usually I feel totally normal (aka nothing at all.)  Sometimes, especially towards the end of the day, it kind of feels like when you have eaten way too much and your stomach is bulging.  Occasionally there are minor cramps or small pains down in the lower abdomen.  It is also a little bit itchy (which I combat with lots of lotion.)  I'm sure these things will change (or increase) as time goes by, but if you were wondering what it feels like to grow a preggo belly, now you know.

I am now pretty certain that I've felt the babies move!  I'm still not 100% convinced it's not just stomach rumblings, because my tummy sure is angry a lot, but it's in the right area and that's gotta be what it is!  Blake was pretty excited to hear that.  I think he is jealous that he doesn't get to feel them yet. :)

This week was definitely better than last.  I feel like the nausea is slowly but surely improving.  My stomach just gets upset really easily, so I can count on feeling sick after most meals.  I'm finding I can now handle spinach mixed in with other, non-vegetable things, like on a sandwich or in a smoothie, without it making me want to die, so I'm taking advantage of that.  I'm also starting to feel more hungry than usual some days.  These babies are working up an appetite!  I think it's really funny to say 'I'm eating for three now' instead of the usual eating for two joke.  At least that was my excuse for trying three different kinds of pie on Thanksgiving.  I'm a terrible person, haha.

I didn't have as hard of a time emotionally this week.  I am feeling a little more level.  We were also able to visit the temple, and that always helps me feel peace.  It was our first time in the Ogden temple since the dedication, so that was a good experience.  I think adding some prenatal yoga into my exercise routine has helped too.  Thank you to everyone who gave me suggestions on Facebook of what videos they liked!  I won't pretend like I have been super great about exercise.  In fact for pretty much the whole first trimester I could barely get out for a mile-long walk a handful of times because I was so trashed.  But I've been working back into it since the start of the second trimester and I know that it will help me keep the aches and pains at bay for as long as possible.  I am kind of missing the feeling of a really good workout though.  These pregnancy exercises don't really get you sweating and gasping for breath haha.  I do know that it is especially important for me to not overwork myself though because of the higher than usual risk of preterm labor.

This week is a big one, because tomorrow we should be able to FINALLY know for sure what genders these little jellybeans are!  I am glad that I've had these four weeks since our last appointment to reset my expectations from the genders the doctor told us a couple of appointments ago.  I was feeling pretty lost after the last appointment when he said he wasn't sure anymore and was leaning in a different direction because I have a hard time letting go and accepting change!  But I feel like I am ready now to be happy with whatever the ultrasound shows us.  Feel free to leave your guess here or on Facebook if you feel like it.  Two boys, two girls, or one of each?

19 Weeks: We're Halfway Done!!!

My sad attempt at disguising my now very visible bump.  What? You actually wanted to see it?  Okay fine...

Oh my gersh I'm huge!

Hooray for being halfway done!  With a normal pregnancy you'd be halfway by 20 weeks, but since my doctor said they only let twins go 38 weeks that means we're halfway at 19!  That is so weird because I really just started getting big.  I'm still getting used to the whole looking pregnant thing (though sometimes I feel like I just look fat, which I know is ridiculous, but I can't help it.)  No strangers have commented on it yet though so that's good.  I don't particularly like attention from strangers.  Unfortunately, I'm told twin babies will pretty much turn me into a celebrity in public... yay. 

One weird pregnancy symptom that I keep having is that I choke on nothing! (Or maybe my own spit, I dunno.)  Like I'll just be sitting there minding my own business and suddenly I'm choking and coughing and gasping for breath for several minutes and wondering if this will be my last experience on earth.  It's happened to me quite a few times since I've been pregnant.  Yesterday's episode was particularly embarrassing because it was during church.  Thank goodness the class hadn't quite started yet, but I sure felt ridiculous making terrible sounds with my face red and tears welling up in my eyes.  But in the end I didn't die so everything's good.

The nausea still gets pretty bad, especially in the evenings, but I think it may be starting to lessen just the tiniest bit.  Maybe?? Please?!?  At least I've started to be able to re-incorporate a select few of the foods from my no-fly list (still can't handle salads though, for which I feel super guilty.)  I am also very, very tired lately, and sleep isn't going quite as well as it used to.

The backaches and hip pain have already begun.  I am so looking forward to that increasing over the next 19 weeks.... not.  Luckily I also discovered that the yoga ball my parent's have feels AMAZING to sit on and they are letting me borrow it!  Yay! 

I'm trying to come to grips with the reality that my body is going to grow extremely huge.  It is really scary.  Go look at pictures of women 38 weeks pregnant with twins and then tell me how you'd feel about it.  I always thought I'd be one of those people who didn't get super huge with pregnancy, but that dream has been pretty much nuked.

You might be able to tell that this has been a hard week for me emotionally.  There's a lot to take in and process, and I'm not exactly as stable as non-pregnant me.  I just feel sad and cry sometimes.  Sorry to put a downer in here, but I do want to keep this real.  Emotional roller coasters are part of pregnancy, and life isn't always butterflies and rainbows.  Here's to hoping this week is better.  Maybe the Christmas season will cheer me up.  I do love Christmas time. :)

On a lighter note: The babies are around six inches now from head to hiney, meaning I've got a whole foot of baby in my belly!

Fun fact of the week: The babies are now getting covered with lots and lots of vernix, that icky white goo that is all over them when they're born.  Apparently, it keeps the amniotic fluid from pickling their skin.  I didn't even make that up. 

18 Weeks

It's freezing and there's snow outside, so I'm taking pictures inside.  Probably from here on out.  Sorry.

My belly sure is growing fast these days!  I am feeling quite large, which I know is sad because the expanding has just begun.  I weigh the most I've ever weighed in my entire life right now, so take it easy on me, okay?  Today I decided it was time to pack away my clothes with structured waists and shirts that are getting too short.  I still have tons of non-maternity clothes that fit just fine though, and I can strangely still button up all but one pair of my jeans just fine.  I have my maternity clothes stored in the other bedroom until I actually need them.  It still freaks me out how my belly gets way bigger throughout the day, and then in the morning it's smaller again.  So weird.  (I take my belly pictures in the middle of the day, so it's kind of middle ground.)

A quick note about the nausea and vomiting: nausea is unchanged, and vomiting is back to it's once-weekly pattern.  How fun.

I'm starting to have some pain in the tailbone area.  My mom says that might mean I'm carrying in my back.  I told her with twins I'll probably be carrying them EVERYWHERE haha.

I bought my first baby clothes this week!  I got a set of onesies and then a set with a onesie, jacket, and pants.  I'm not planning on buying much, but I really wanted a few pieces that I knew I would absolutely love.  There are some really ugly baby clothes out there.  We also purchased some cloth diapers!  We bought a small stash so we can try them out and see if we like it.  They have great re-sell value, so even if we decide we hate it we should be able to recoup about what we spent.  We hope it will work out, because it will save us SO MUCH MONEY on diapers.  Really, the amount of money you need to spend on diapers for twins is INSANE, and we are looking for any good ways to save money that we can possibly find.

I'm feeling like it's time to start getting serious about all this baby stuff.  I have so much to plan and do, and I don't have as much time left as I would if there were only one baby.  Decorating and finding furniture for the nursery, choosing a childbirth class, figuring out insurance, thinking about my choices for delivery, deciding what baby stuff we'd like to buy, deciding on carseats (this one is so hard!), and so much more!

The babies are supposedly around 5 and a half inches each, not counting the legs.  Not sure why they don't include the legs, but whatever.  They yawn and hiccup, and maybe even suck their thumbs.  Awwwww.  They are so cute already.

17 Weeks, AKA 4 Months

This week I will be four months pregnant!  How cool is that?

I had my 16 week appointment last Tuesday, and I'm afraid we're not so sure on the gender of 'downstairs' baby anymore.  'Upstairs' baby has not changed on us though.  Twin ultrasounds are extremely confusing.  It is really hard to tell which baby you are looking at, and they were wiggling and flipping around so much!  I thought it was really funny how the doctor kept poking my belly to make them move the way he wanted them to.  He was actually surprised I hadn't felt them yet since they are so active.  I blame it on the fact that my stomach is always rumbling and churning, so I have no way of differentiating what is baby and what is just my stomach.  So I will now have to be patient and wait for my 20 week appointment to know both genders for sure.  Three more weeks.  Wish me luck!  I was pretty happy with what he had told me before, so I'm using this time to prepare myself so I won't feel too upset if it changes on me.

My doctor told me to take vitamin B6 since my nausea isn't going away on its own.  I think it is helping some.  I still have some pretty bad days, but on a good day I only feel sick for an hour or two out of the day.  Hopefully things will continue to get better.  I would really love to feel like a normal, mostly functional human being before I get too large. 

My babies are apparently replacing cartilage with bone this week, which I didn't even realize they were made of cartilage before.  So that's cool.  They're five inches long from the top of their heads to their bottoms!  Although 'upstairs' baby was actually measuring about a week ahead of 'downstairs' baby, so maybe that one's a little bigger.  Who knows. 

16 Weeks

My belly has definitely grown this week.  My mom swears it grew from when she saw me on Thursday until she saw me Saturday.  Yesterday I wore a flowy shirt since I think fitted shirts totally make me look pregnant now.  Or maybe just chubby, I dunno.

I've developed lovely pregnancy rhinitis which makes me sleep with my mouth open and wake up with a scratchy throat.  It's not that bad though.  What is frustrating is that, yes, the nausea is still sticking around.  I am so grateful that it has been almost two weeks since I last lost my lunch though.  So maybe things are looking up???  I am trying so hard to find some magic formula that will keep me feeling good, but I haven't found it yet.  I think I need to face the possibility that I will be one of the unlucky ladies that doesn't ever get over the nausea until they deliver.  It is not an easy thing to accept.  Blake may or may not have come home to me crying on the bathroom floor when I wanted to just throw up and get it over with but couldn't, and didn't think I could do this for five more months.  Pregnant women, are they crazy or what?

I had no idea how hard it would be to pick what stuff to buy for the babies.  I've spent so much time on it and feel like I've gotten nowhere.  I'm mostly tackling car seats and strollers, which are hard as it is, but adding twins into the mix makes it 1000x harder.  That and how our one car is a Prius and thus won't fit really big car seats and strollers.  I think once I get that figured out I will feel much better.

I have gathered up quite the stockpile of maternity clothes thanks to finding lots of extremely awesome sales.  I've got like six dresses or so for between $4-$9 each.  I found a pair of maternity jeans for $6.  And lots of other awesome steals too.  I haven't bought anything that I don't really love or is a basic.  I think I will need one more pair of maternity jeans, since the ones I got have a low panel, but I think they will work for quite a while.  All of my regular clothes are still fitting, but I'm sure that won't be true for long. 

My next prenatal appointment is TOMORROW!!!  I am so excited and nervous, because this is the week he can give us the 100% instead of 99% sure on the genders.  So I'll be announcing what flavors the babies are very, very soon!!!

Hello World! and 15 Week Update

Hello everyone and welcome to my weekly pregnancy update!  I've been keeping a little pregnancy journal of sorts since we found out we were expecting, and now I finally get to publish it.  If you missed our announcement, you can go see that here: http://blakeamanda.blogspot.com/2014/10/5th-anniversary-trip-to-california.html

So, here's all the big details:

Due date: April 27, 2015, but since it's twins, I will be delivering by 38 weeks instead of 40.  More than half of twins are born premature, so we are hoping to make it to late March through mid April.

When we found out we were pregnant: August 14th.  I was only 3 weeks 3 days pregnant, according to my due date.  You can read about that here: http://blakeamanda.blogspot.com/2014/11/im-pregnant.html

When we found out it was twins: At our 8 week appointment on September 16th.  You can read about that here: http://blakeamanda.blogspot.com/2014/11/september-22-9-weeks.html

Do we know the genders: Yes!  At our 12 week appointment our doctor gave us a 99% guarantee.  I trust him because he was able to tell my sister's gender at 12 weeks as well.  (Yes, I'm using the same doctor as my mom did with her last pregnancy.  Kinda weird, right?)  I will be putting up a post soon about our gender reveal party including a video!

Morning sickness:  Oh yes.  And at 15 weeks it is still not gone.  I am grateful that I haven't thrown up more than once a week though.  It's mostly been nausea.

Baby bump: While my stomach is definitely larger than it once was, it would not be apparent to people that don't know me well.  I have been taking weekly pictures (except weeks 6 & 7 when I was too sick to pull myself together for a picture) so you can see that progress.  As I am in the second trimester now, I expect my belly to start expanding rapidly any day now.

How I feel about all this: I feel so, so lucky to get to have twins!  Only about 1-3% of births are multiples.  I am so grateful that after a wait we are able to have this opportunity.  I like to say it's God's way of catching us up.  I am also very scared and unsure of my ability to survive a twin pregnancy and raise two babies at the same time!  I am doing my best to put my faith in God right now and trust in His judgement and that he will help us make it through.

What this means for Campbell Photography:  I was so grateful to be able to take my first trimester off of work.  I knew that I couldn't do my best work feeling the way I did.  I will be doing photography again throughout my second trimester, and we'll play things by ear for the third trimester.  After that, I will be having a longer-than-usual maternity leave due to there being two newborns instead of one.  For everyone who will support my business during my second (and maybe third) trimester, I thank you, and my unborn children thank you.  ;)

What this means for this blog: I will be posting a weekly update about the pregnancy, and probably backing off some on the other parts of my blog.  I will try to throw in something different every once in a while though.

How you can read my older weekly pregnancy updates: Click on the Twin Pregnancy tab at the top of the blog.  This will show you all posts I've published about the pregnancy.

If you have had twins or multiples recently and have some advice for me, I'd love to hear it!  It's so much harder to find information about twin pregnancy, gear, care, etc.

Okay, I think that's it.  If you have other questions, feel free to ask!  Now, onto my 15 week update.

My Halloween costume.  Mummy of two!

The babies are about 4 inches long each!  That seems so big.  How do they both fit in there?  

I am pretty bummed that I'm still dealing with morning sickness.  I guess you shouldn't pay attention to what normally happens since pregnancy is such a crazy thing to begin with.  Eating pretty much anything makes me feel awful.  Which is weird because it keeps switching between food=bad and food=good (when I had to keep food in my stomach to keep from getting sick.)

My favorite weekly pregnancy update I've read is for this week.  I have at least 5 different weekly updates I get on apps or emails.  I might be a little obsessed.  But this Pregnant Chicken one kills me (love the name Pregnant Chicken btw.) "...(the baby) moves away from light if you beam a flashlight on your belly (I like to think it makes a hissing noise while doing it.)"  That just puts the funniest visual in my head.

14 Weeks

I'm afraid I may have been right about the vacation-making-me-feel-better theory, because the first day we were home I definitely started feeling worse again.  Oh well.  It is on it's way up though from several weeks ago, so hopefully I will be feeling great very soon.  The weird thing is I really didn't eat very healthy on our trip, and I was feeling better than ever.  Maybe my body doesn't like healthy food?  I probably shouldn't count on that. 

We really enjoyed the rest of our vacation.  I will be making a blog post about that very soon, and announcing our pregnancy to the world!  I am so excited!  We had our gender reveal party the day after we got back and it went great.  We didn't have everything finished until all but the last set of our guests arrived, but that's what happens when you try to put together a party and bake two cakes in one morning.  Now I'm just praying that the babies didn't trick us!

My belly is definitely bigger, and after a large dinner I actually kind of look pregnant.  I still don't think anyone who doesn't know me would notice my stomach yet though.  It is starting to feel weird to lay on my stomach.

It's kind of hard having to wait so long to see my babies.  I want to know what they'll look like, what color of hair they'll have (we're banking on red,) what cute little noises they'll make... It's just so exciting.  And then other times I'm scared for them to be here because I honestly have no idea how I will be able to handle being a mother of two newborns!  I was concerned about my ability to care for just one before I found out it was twins.  I just have to keep telling myself that God gave us two for a reason, and everything will be okay.  

13 Weeks

According to my doctor, I am now in the second trimester!  Woohoo!  One-third of the way done! Here's how my 12 week appointment went down.  All of my bloodwork from my first appointment came back good, which I was grateful for.  We got to have another ultrasound and he said the babies are doing great!  He was also able to tell the genders!  He said it is possible for it to be wrong since it is quite early, but he said he was 99% sure and that is good enough for me.  We are going to have a little gender reveal party for our families when we get back from California so you will have to wait to see the blogpost about that to find out what he told us.  The baby towards the bottom of the screen was kicking around like crazy and even changed which direction it was facing.  That was really fun to see.  It is so cool that they actually look like little babies now!  Last time they just looked like misshapen blobs.  He also told me that I should plan on not having a c-section unless the first baby ends up being breech, so that was very reassuring.

Supposedly my babies are each the size of a peach now.  That seems so huge!  I'm not sure how two peaches fit in there without me showing very much.  Speaking of, I think I'm definitely in the 'has she been eating too many cheeseburgers' stage of belly expansion.  (Which is funny because I've never eaten a cheeseburger in my life.) I don't think any stranger would think I was pregnant, but people that know me would probably notice that my tummy is bigger.  All of my clothes still fit though.  I hear things start happening faster once you hit your second trimester, so maybe I will look like a legit pregnant lady soon.  That will be weird.  I still sometimes feel like it's not real...

I'm starting to feel better from the nausea I think!  Of course, maybe just being on vacation and out of the house could be helping too.  Distractions are always good.  But either way I am definitely feeling much more capable of doing normal things.  I'm trying really hard to come up with something cute to do here that we can take a picture of and use to announce our pregnancy to the world.  My first idea is proving to be much harder than I thought it would be and I am getting a little frustrated.  Hopefully I'll figure things out soon.

12 Weeks

Aaaaah you can see it!  Look at my babies!!!

We made it to the magical 12 weeks!  Having a cold while throwing up was no fun at all, but now I'm mostly over the cold except for a little residual stuffy nose, which will probably stick around for another week, knowing my body.  I am happy that I survived my first pregnancy cold without taking anything besides vitamin C.  I will be very lucky if I make it through the winter without catching at least one more cold.  Usually Blake and I go back and forth having colds all winter.  I've figured out that on good days I can usually manage the nausea and throwing up by snacking on good food really often.  I feel like I am eating way too much food, but really that's not a bad thing for me right now.  I was finally able to use our scale and I have almost gained back the weight I lost right before getting pregnant, which is a great thing.  I definitely have a little baby bump now.  The weird thing is that it's tiny in the morning, but by night time it's so much bigger and really tight-feeling.  Maybe it's just from eating throughout the day, I don't know.  But it's weird finally feeling like someone might be able to notice my stomach.  I had my first super weird pregnancy dream in which I watched Blake murder and decapitate some random lady.  It was terrifying.  The weird thing is that my mom said she used to have similar dreams while pregnant.  So I guess it's normal???? Even though I feel miserable alot, I am feeling so grateful and happy about my two little babies.  I know I could be feeling much worse (I've read about hyperemesis gravidarum) and we could easily have not been able to get pregnant, so I am feeling very blessed.  I told my grandmas and most of my aunts and uncles about our pregnancy this past weekend.  Grandma J was so excited that someone in the family is finally having twins! (Grandpa J was a twin, as were his brother and sister.)  Grandma B is so cute, she brought out a little baby quilt she made and said she had this ready for me because I was next in line to have a baby, but now she'll have to make me a second one too.  Sharing the news with my family made me feel so loved!

This week is very exciting.  We have our next appointment tomorrow, and if we are very very lucky we will get to find out the genders!  I would love that because then I'll know what to buy for them at Disneyland.  Oh yeah, we are leaving for our 8 day California road trip this weekend!  I am so excited I can hardly stand it.  This Wednesday is our FIFTH anniversary!  I can't believe it's five years already.  There is so much to do this week to get ready for the trip and finish decorating and putting our house together, plus if we find out the genders I will need to get ready for our gender reveal party so we can have that the day after we get back from California.  So many exciting things are happening!

11 Weeks

On Saturday I came down with a cold.  It makes me mad because the only time I've been in public for like a week is going to the grocery store for an hour on Wednesday.  Really?  Getting a cold from going out for an hour?  I'm afraid this might be a very awful winter.  Having morning sickness and a cold is, frankly, horrible.  I tried desperately to find something that I could take, but apparently they're not even sure if Ricolas are safe for pregnant women.  Especially since I'm still in the first trimester, I decided not to risk even taking an Airbourne or Halls cough drops.  So I got myself some Vitamin C drops to suck on to help with my very sore throat, some tissues, and some chicken broth.  I am just praying that I will be over it by next Tuesday because I don't want to have to miss my 12 week appointment.  If we're really lucky, we'll get to find out the genders at that appointment.  My mom was able to find out about my sister at her 12 week appointment.  I have so much to do this week and next to finish putting our house together and get ready for our vacation next week.  Yet I might need to spend a few days in bed resting in order to let my body fight this cold without the help of medicine. 

It's a strange feeling to love these little babies so much even though I've never actually seen them, besides the little blobs from our first ultrasound.  As frustrated as I get with my emotions, morning sickness, and other things I don't blame them at all for it.  They are supposedly about 1.5-2" long now, and are moving around like crazy.  Not that I'll be able to feel them for a long time.  My stomach is definitely bigger, but I'm still not sure if it's from the babies or if I am just gaining weight/very bloated.  You never know.  My pants still fit the same, which is odd.  I haven't been able to weigh myself for a while due to not having anything but carpet in our house, so I'm not sure if I've gained weight yet or not.

10 Weeks

Something's happening for sure!

What a week.  We had planned to use the whole week to move into our new apartment and do it slowly as to not kill ourselves, but Monday night someone ended up wanting our apartment on Wednesday.  So we basically moved everything on Tuesday.  I'm so grateful we had a couple people help us, because I don't think we could have done it by ourselves this time.  Last time we moved I carried almost all of the boxes up the stairs by myself, but this time I didn't dare carry anything heavy and had much, much less energy and was feeling sick.  Even at that I overexerted myself and was sore until Saturday.  We are loving our big new apartment, and I will love it even more when it is all put together.  Our babies are going to live here!

As for symptoms, I have some good days and some bad days.  Yesterday ended my lucky streak because I finally threw up.  Sad day.  I'm hoping this does not become a common occurrence.  Even if it does, it should only be lasting 2-4 more weeks according to my doctor and the internet.  Speaking of the internet, I need to stop looking stuff up on the internet.  I get myself all worried.  I just learned about 'vanishing twin syndrome' which is where all of a sudden, one of the twins is gone without a trace.  I think it only happens earlier on, but still.  And I wasn't too happy to read that 50% of twins are born via c-section.  I mean, if it has to happen that way then I'll deal with it, but I'd really rather not have to do that, especially with my first pregnancy.  Another scary tidbit is that more than half of twins are born premature, so I have to pick a hospital with a good NICU.  That is really not something I want to go through.  I want to get to hold my babies after they're born.  I guess it's in God's hands though.

My babies are supposed to be over an inch long now!  I may have bought a bunch of maternity clothes already because I found really great deals, and so now I'm wondering when I'll actually need to wear them.  I am fearing and also strangely curious and almost looking forward to starting to get a big belly.  Mostly just to see what it's like.  I know I'll probably be sick of that by the end though, haha.  I think I may be a bit more moody than normal.  I don't think I'm psycho yet though.  Hopefully Blake would agree.  This week has been hard on me and he hasn't been around very much so I have been feeling a bit abandoned.  This week should be better. :)