10 Tips For Surviving the NICU

 

Being pregnant with twins, I knew that NICU time was very likely, but I certainly wasn't ready when they were born at only 30 weeks.  For the next 51 days (7.5 weeks) my babies called the NICU home. 

Your first time in the newborn intensive care unit is extremely overwhelming and sometimes even terrifying.  Here are some tips to help you survive your baby's stay.

#1-Be there when you can.  Don't feel guilty about when you can't.  Be realistic.  No one can be at the NICU for every care/feeding time.  Do not feel bad if you can only make it once a day or even have to miss some days.  I didn't have any other obligations besides pumping, sleeping, and eating and I was still only able to be there 3-4 out of their 8 care times each day.  I know it feels like you should be with your babies 24/7, but they need a mom who takes care of herself.  

#2-You can breastfeed if you want to. I think I was lucky because I picked a hospital that was very pro-breastfeeding.  After my babies were born one of the nurses came to tell me some things about the NICU and she said that regardless of my long-term plans for breastfeeding they wanted me to start pumping because giving preemies their mom's colostrum is so important.  I was spoiled by getting to use the NICU lactation nurses for help whenever I wanted.  I've heard some people say they didn't get good breastfeeding support in their NICU and formula was pushed on them, and that makes me sad.  I want you to know that it really is possible to get your NICU babies nursing!  Of course there are things that might make it not work out, but for the majority of you, with lots of determination you can make it happen.  It was really, really hard in the early days.  They were several weeks old before we even got to try latching.  Soon before they went home we had worked up to two breastfeeding attempts per day.  After they came home, we slowly worked up the amount of times we tried every day.  I would try to nurse them, then finish their feeding with a bottle, then go pump.  It was exhausting and took so much effort.  But I knew it would pay off when I could finally ditch the pump.  I've heard some people like exclusively pumping, but I was not a fan.  It took until a couple weeks after their due date before I got them both exclusively nursing.  If you make it that far, celebrate!  If for some reason you don't, it's okay, I promise your baby will be just fine because they have a mother willing to try so hard to do the best she can for them!

#3-Don't feel like you have to let anyone visit.  Having a baby in the NICU is an experience that no one can really understand until they've had their own NICU baby.  It can be extremely overwhelming.  If what you need is to be alone with your baby and having other people there will cause you extra stress, then that is what you should do.  Everyone else can see the baby when he/she is healthy.  This time is about your new little family.  You really should be limiting their contact with other people as much as possible anyways, especially during the winter months.  Having a baby in the NICU is something that you can only understand once you've done it yourself.  You don't need to take the advice of people who haven't had NICU babies. 

#4-Ask people to come with you if you want them to.  On the flip side, if you need emotional support, ask for it!  There are lots of people who would love to be a shoulder for you to cry on when you need it.  They might be able to help you feel happy about your baby when they come ooh and aah over them and remind you that you can be proud of the little baby you gave birth to.

#5-You are the mom, so you're in charge.  It is so easy to feel intimidated in the hospital environment.  There are nurses who have done this a million times and doctors who have studied premature infants for years, and that can make you feel like you don't really have a say in anything that happens to your child.  I definitely believe that you should listen to and consider what your baby's care providers have to say, but the bottom line is you are the mother and you get to make the decisions for your child's care.   If you don't feel comfortable with something, speak up!  I've noticed that opinions differ even between different nurses and doctors, so you don't have to take everything they say as gospel.  Do your research, and trust your mother's intuition.

#6-Don't be afraid to ask questions.  Your baby might be hooked up to a million different tubes and being given all kinds of stuff.  You will probably feel very confused by it all.  Your baby's nurse is there to help you!  Ask her what each of those things are for.  Knowing what is going on can really help you feel more comfortable there.

#7-It can be hard to feel like a 'real mom' when your baby is in the NICU.  Your baby might not look like what you expected a newborn to look like if they were born premature.  It might be hard to feel connected to them when they are covered with all kinds of wires and tubes.  When nurses spend more time than you do taking care of your baby, it makes you feel more like a visitor than an actual mother.  Asking for permission to touch or hold your baby is strange and makes you feel like you're simply a guest there.  These are all normal feelings.  But know that you are just as much of a mother as any other mom.

#8-Kangaroo care/skin to skin.  Start skin-to-skin as soon as possible.  It is so good for your babies and for you too!  I liked to wear a hospital gown with the opening in the front so I didn't feel as exposed.  There are so many benefits to kangaroo care, especially for premature/ill infants.  There are websites dedicated to this so I'll let them explain the pros of skin-to-skin.

#9-Get enough sleep.  If there could be a silver lining to having a NICU baby, it's that you get a few days, weeks, or months to recover from childbirth before you have a baby to care for 24/7.  You might not get a full night's sleep, especially if you are waking every 3 hours to pump, but do your best to get as much rest as possible.  You are already under so much extra stress because of your baby's condition.  Adding sleep deprivation to that will not help anyone.  Take care of yourself so you can give your best to your baby.

#10-Take it one day at a time.  Sometimes it feels like your baby will never get to come home.  There was a day that I was getting extremely frustrated about that, and then the next day I was told they would be coming home the following afternoon.  Your NICU stay will feel endless, but I promise your time will come and soon the NICU will be a distant memory.  You can do this! 

Did you have a NICU baby?  Leave your tips below!

Home At Last

One year ago today, I received a phone call from one of Jensen and Everett's doctors.  "We've looked at his charts and decided that Jensen will be able to go home today along with Everett," he says.  I can hardly believe it.  My OB had told us that twins almost never get to go home from the NICU at the same time.  Blake and I finish getting ready and drive the route to what I then called our second home one last time.

Blake drops me off at the front door, as he unfortunately has an important meeting to go to that he can't miss.  We plan on him being done by about 3pm.  I ride the elevator to the top floor and approach the handwashing station for the last time.  Faucet on.  Soap, scrub, rinse.  Up to the elbows and in the knuckle creases.  Under the fingernails.  My hands cracked and cuticles peeling from seven and a half weeks of vigorous washing multiple times a day.  Soap, scrub, rinse.  The front desk lady greets me, and asks if today is the big day.  I confirm, and she says she'll let everyone know.

I head towards room 3 and greet today's nurse.  She's excited for me.  I tell her that I didn't bring in any milk today, for obvious reasons, so she moves some out of the freezer to thaw.  We have a whole cooler full of milk in their freezer that we will bring home with us.  My babies are waiting for me in our little private room at the back.  It's care time, so I go through the normal process.  First up is Jensen.  Change his diaper and drop on the floor for the nurse to weigh, take his temperature, change the probe from one foot to the other.  Then I get to try to nurse him.  It's difficult to get a weak little baby to latch, even with a nipple shield.  He gives it his best go and then it's time for Everett's cares.  Repeat process.  Everett is difficult to nurse too, but he doesn't usually need the shield at least.  I tell them that today is the day they get to go home.  They don't seem excited, but I think they'll enjoy being with mommy more.  When they are both in their cribs, I use the hospital pump.  I'm going to miss that thing, it is so much better than the one I have at home.

The first person to visit me is one of the NICU lactation specialists.  She checks to see how everything is going.  "I'm going to call you in a week and see how you're doing," she tells me.  She wants us to attempt nursing two times a day like we had been doing, and move it up as they become stronger.  I am so grateful for the help they had given me over those last several weeks.  Then the social worker comes and asks for the name of our pediatrician so he can get that information to my insurance.  He gives us information about financial assistance if we need it and tells us to call anytime.  After he leaves, I nibble on the snacks I brought.  I'm not sure if you're supposed to eat in the NICU because I never asked.  It's a little late now.

Three hours have passed and it's the next care time.  Diaper, temperature, probe.  We do a bottle this time.  Nursing is hard work for preemies and they need to rest.  Hello hospital pump.  The next person to come visit is the NICU dietitian.  She is a cute girl with red spirals for hair and freckles all over.  She hands me a packet about nutrition for the babies.  She also gives me a box full of human milk fortifier, that will be mixed into their bottles to help make up for the 10 weeks of growth and nutrtion they missed out on in my belly.  We set up an appointment for a month after discharge to check on their progress.

It's 3pm.  Blake is supposed to be here but of course things are running late.  The nurses change shift at 4 and we don't have anyone assigned to us.  The guy from the oxygen rental company comes to deliver Jensen's oxygen and show me how it works.  I wanted Blake to be there to see that too.  It's simple enough though so I can teach him later.  Then the guy from the pulse oximeter rental company comes to give us our oxygen monitor.  It makes terribly loud beeping sounds when the oxygen level is too high or too low, which we will get to enjoy for the next month.

The next care time comes around, and they were able to find a nurse to cover for us.  Later, I look at the pictures from their birth and realize that she was there too.  She tells me that her husband is named Everett and it's not a name she hears often, and that her maiden name was Jensen.  So many coincidences.  My favorite nurse, Angie, comes in to say hi and tell me congratulations.  She gives me a hug and requests that I send pictures to the NICU so that she can see how the boys are doing.  I can't say enough how wonderful the nurses were to us.  Blake finally arrives a little while after she leaves, and the man who teaches infant CPR gives him his own private class so that he doesn't have to come back two days later to take it.  Infant CPR is a requirement if your baby goes home on oxygen.  I had taken the class the day before.  After his class, Blake brings our stroller and a large cooler up to our room.  This is it.  It's time to go home.

It's 6pm.  I hold Everett without wires for the first time.  We put the babies in their carseats strapped into the stroller.  We pile the stroller storage high with everything we can fit.  The cooler full of frozen milk, the buckets and leads and tiny blood pressure cuffs that will make mementos.  The piles of papers and box of fortifier that was given to me earlier.  A tote bag with handmade blankets in it that they give to every baby at discharge.  Somehow we fit it all in and our nurse escorts us out of the NICU.  The lady at the front desk tells us congratulations and for the first time in their lives, Jensen and Everett get to leave the NICU.  The nurse helps us get into the car and then we drive away.  These babies are all ours.

We bring them inside and then the tears come.  This is real.  They are home.  They are mine.  My heart is full at last.

My parents and sister come over to bring us dinner.  I'm starving because I hadn't eaten much that day.  My mom sets up a cute little cake that she made along with banners and balloons welcoming Jensen and Everett home.  My mom is awesome.  My dad sets up our new Mamaroo swing for us and puts it in their room.  Then they leave and it is just our little family.  At home.  Together. 

Many people say the day their child was born was the best day of their lives, but for us, the day they came home was even better. 

Jensen and Everett are Two Months Old!

So, what's up in the lives of Jensen and Everett these days?  Well, for one thing THEY'RE HOME!!!  That's right folks!  Just over a week ago on the 9th we were able to take these guys home with us!!!  On the 8th their doctor called to say that Everett was going to go home the next day.  We were thrilled.  I had been preparing myself all along that they would probably go home on different days, but the next morning another one of their doctors called to say that they could both go home.  They needed to both be eating everything by mouth for 48 hours, and apparently a nurse had gavaged part of Jensen's feeding that didn't really need to be, so he was ready to go home too.  After 51 days in the NICU and at 37 and a half weeks gestation, they were coming home with us.  As soon as we walked in our front door with our two beautiful babies I had a happy cry.  We were finally together as a family. 

The hallway outside the NICU

The dreaded handwashing station where I scrubbed my skin into oblivion twice a day

The last room we were in.  We started in 1, then 4, then 3, then 4 again, then 3.  They were doing construction or something...

Our private room.  Also, we totally got one of those Mamaroos because they liked the one at the NICU so much.

Jensen's crib

Everett's crib

Jensen, the night before he came home.

Everett, the night before he came home.

Everett

Jensen

The temperature probe we used to take their temps every 3 hours, and the bottle warmer for their milk.

Blake hanging out with Jensen (he had a slight lingering cold, so he stayed out of the NICU for 2 weeks and then wore a mask for the last 2 days)

Blake feeding Everett

The last day at their first home.

Monitors off and ready to leave!

Everett's so cozy in his carseat

Leaving the NICU for the last time!

"Goodbye forever!" I said.

First family picture at home!

My babies are home!!!

It was a mad dash to get everything ready for them the day we found out Everett would be coming home.  I finally got their nursery put together, and I was quite happy with it.

It's even cuter with babies in it

My mom helped me with these paintings (and made most of their crib sets)

Their first ultrasound, and my great grandma Eva Jensen with my grandpa Richard Jensen and his twin brother Bob.

We can't use nails to hang anything up in our townhome.  Lame.  So we have a banner instead of curtains.  Whatev.

If you're wondering when you can come see them, there's a few things you need to know first.  Due to their very early birth, their immune systems are much weaker than the average newborn.  As much as I want to show off my adorable cute babies to everyone, we will have to severely limit the number of people they are exposed to for the first while.  If you are going to be able to come see them, please make sure you and everyone in your household are completely healthy, check that you are up to date on your vaccinations, and leave your kids at home!  If you have even a slight cough or sniffle, or feel a little bit off, please stay home.  Babies usually catch whooping cough from adults who don't know they have it yet.  The slightest cold to you could be devastating to these little guys, especially Jensen as he still requires oxygen to breathe.  Sorry to be the germaphobe mom, but when you have preemies it comes with the territory.  We will not be taking them into public places at all for a long time.  Thanks for understanding!

Here's some more cute pictures of their first days at home.

Poorly executed panorama

He looks so tiny in his huge crib

Jensen's cute eyes

One of Everett's many silly faces

My mom made this cute setup to celebrate the boys coming home

Delicious red velvet

It's boys!

He looks so tiny in his carseat

First bath time at home!

Nap time with daddy

Another awesome facial expression by Everett

I can't even tell you how awesome it is to finally have my babies home!  Our little redheaded family, united at last.  :)